rules i’d give my 18-year-old self (that i wish i followed sooner)

Author

Vessal Jaberi
February 24, 2025

i often struggle to write these. am i even being helpful? 

who are the people on the other side of this? 

do you guys expect something from me that maybe i can’t provide? 

these are the thoughts that run through my mind every time i sit down to do this.

from the start, this was never meant to be anything more than a public journal: 

a collection of things i’ve learned while building businesses, the challenges i’ve faced, and hopefully, you extracted some value or lessons from me. 

but sometimes i catch myself feeling like i’m not being affective, or that this is all in-effective. 

i’m not looking for any praise from you, that’s not it, 

maybe i just feel like i’m not the right person to be telling anyone what to do, or how they should live. 

hopefully that makes sense to you, it’s a strange feeling and i don’t really know how to fully articulate it. 

the gap between where i am and where i think i want to be

i had a conversation with one of my mentors recently, and i told him that no matter what i do, i feel like i’m missing something. 

like i’m constantly a step behind where i want to be. (do you ever feel this way?)

objectively, it doesn’t really make sense to feel this way: 

i have time freedom, i have resources, i have built a life where i don’t have to answer to anyone. 

so why do i consistently feel behind? why do i still feel like i’m not doing enough?

if You resonate with me here, then You probably tend to think of others before You think of Yourself, 

or at the very least, You get more joy and fulfillment helping others succeed than You do from Your own achievements. 

so on that theme, i felt it appropriate to share with you some lessons, 

these are rule i would tell me 18 year old self, and are more targeted towards those beginning their journey into adulthood, 

but, even if you are not 18, You might find some of these useful to You. 

so while i am far from having it all figured out, 

rules i would tell my 18 year old self to live by

  1. keep your environment clean. that means your apartment, your room or any space you do work in. having respect for yourself starts with the environment you spend most time in. that means keep your room cleaned like you are about to have a girl over. 

  2. if you can, leave your hometown right away. and move to a high density city.

  3. ignore politics and activism. it’s not the best place to put your energy unless you are planning on running for office and chances are, your efforts can be more productive placed elsewhere. 

  4. at this age, you have unicorn blood. it goes away. don’t waste your energy levels on anything that doesn’t serve you. 

  5. wear a condom. always. the one thing that will derail your life trajectory is an unplanned pregnancy with the wrong person. also, herpes. 

  6. do everything that makes you uncomfortable. if your gut tells you to be nervous, that’s a signal you should be doing it.

  7. get out of the house as much as possible. 

  8. say hi to every girl you find attractive if you are single.

  9. ignore false idols. when small men begin to cast large shadows, you are in the wrong place.  

  10. pay attention to how you dress and how you keep yourself groomed. 

  11. it’s ok to outgrow your friends. some people are only around for chapters, very few are main characters in the entire story.

  12. when you think about yourself and your life, what thoughts make you excited or nervous? that’s what you need to be doing.

  13. if you have disappointing news to tell someone, tell them right away. don’t waste time worrying about hurting their feelings.

  14. call your mom weekly, skip this if she’s a cunt. 

  15. say yes to every opportunity, even if you don’t feel like it. (i discovered the idea for my $50M a year business this way). 

let me know if any of those resonate with You. 

till next time,
 vessal