I just want to make something I'm proud of

“I just want to make something I'm proud of”, said my buddy Eric.

We were sitting by the rooftop pool at Eric’s apartment in downtown Montreal.

I suppose talking about girls and the weather had gotten old, we were getting into some serious shit now.

Eric is a highly accomplished person, he was a professional snowboarder, was on a reality TV show, was a professional poker player, worked as a financier and is now a bartender in one of the hottest nightclubs in Montreal.

He’s also way better looking than me, but I won’t hold it against him.

I met Eric two years ago on a random Thursday night at the club he works at. We hit it off right away and became “boys”.

He was telling me about this one business idea he has in the tech space, something he is very passionate about, everytime he would talk about it, you could see it in his eyes,

And as we know, the eyes, they never lie.

“I just want to make something I’m proud of”. What a cheeky thing to say when you are already crushing it.

But I totally understand what he meant by it. It brought me back to the early days in my business, I remember I would keep writing in my journal:

“I Just Need Something To Work”

But what I was really saying was, “I just need to prove to myself that I can do something worth being proud about”.

I think all entrepreneurs have an innate drive to prove something.

Maybe it was your mom who never believed in you and you want to prove her wrong.

Or maybe it was your late grandfather who believed you could do anything, and you want to prove him right.

In my case, I wanted to prove “them” all wrong.

“Them” was the university professor who laughed at my questions in class.

Or that one random bouncer in Vancouver who wouldn’t let me into a club. Or that ex who ended our 4 year relationship over facebook messenger.

I was so driven to prove them wrong, and I did.

And in 2.5 years I was making more from my passive investments than my professors made in salary.

And guess what, none of them give a fuck.

I was trapped in a race against people who didn’t even know there was a race to begin with.

They probably forgot I even exist.

What I was actually doing was projecting my own lack of pride unto them.

Perhaps my professor laughed when I asked a question because that’s how he reacts when he’s put on the spot and doesn’t immediately know the answer,

Maybe the bouncer didn’t let me in because there were too many men in the club already, he might have just been doing his job.

Maybe my ex broke up with me on facebook because she’s just a bitch. Fuck you Felicia (not her real name).

This is why what Eric said earlier today was so insightful for me: “I just want to make something I’M proud of”

The pursuit of meaning and pride needs to come from the internal.

This can only happen when you have enough introspection to know what it is you want, AND have enough self love to go after it. (read that again).

Flexing on the “haters” sounds great in theory,

But when you finally reach your goal, chances are you will be the only one around to witness it.

Do it for you.

- Vessal