it's been a while

hey guys,

i haven’t written anything new in a while.

if you forgot i even existed, i don’t blame you. 

it’s been a strange month for me, 

for one, i dropped every project that wasn’t serving me. (like the ones i talked about in my previous emails). 

my calender is nearly empty and i have “nothing to do”. 

over the last few months, i had said “yes” to some new projects because i was bored and needed to fill my time, 

but, 

i found out that i was just going with the motions just to stay busy, 

and i think that is the ultimate form of laziness, because its easier to stay busy and do what you know, but

it is genuinely hard work to have to sit there and really think about what YOU want, 

and even more challenging to figure out WHO you are. 

like i said, it’s a lot easier to just say yes to things just to be busy

when i’m not busy, it’s gets a little scary, i get pretty depressed, i have no reason to leave my bed and i swear even my appetite, energy and libido drops, 

in the past, just being busy allowed me to ignore the underlying problem, 

because being busy keeps you in a state of perpetual movement, that you mistake for productivity, 

it feels like shit to be bored and not know what to do, 

and i felt like a bitch complaining about it,

but, i guess it was my fault for doing the “easy” thing and choosing to be busy, 

in my gut, i knew, those projects were just not what i wanted to spend my time with, so i said:

“fuck it, i’m not doing this anymore.”

and that brings me to today. 

but…what now?

well, for one, my days are pretty open, 

i’m saying “no” to a lot of offers. 

i did say “yes” to a new roll-up business with a few partners (a roll-up is buying business assets, combining them, creating systems, then selling them to private equity or bigger companies for a much higher valuation)

i’m also exploring some cities in the US in the new year, looking for a home-base so i can finally leave canada (but more on that later). 

i’m going to keep you guys updated on these new projects, and my thoughts along the way. 

maybe the lesson so far is, sometimes it’s good to be bored, 

we are all probably dealing with questions or doubts that we keep to ourselves. 

i think it can be useful to be open about this kind of stuff, so i will do my best to share my thoughts and how i navigate them, 

this email was kind of a rant, but now you’re in the loop. 

till next time, 

and merry xmas everyone :) 

- vessal