i didn't want to write today, but i did it anyway

i didn’t want to write today. 

i’ve spent over 3x the time i normally spend on a letter than i normally do. 

what’s that old saying about doing something even when you don’t feel like it? i suppose this is discipline. 

to be honest, it’s just one of those days where none of my ideas seem interesting to me, and as i write, i’m critiquing how corny my shit sounds. 

in my head, all i could think is:

“no one’s gonna care if you miss one”

“let’s just resend an old letter, no one will notice”

“how much is a private chef?” “what about that porsche?” “i wonder what 12% of 25,000,000 is.”

“deutche bank says the canadian dollar will drop even more to 1.61 CAD per 1 USD?!?”

basically, every random possible thought you can imagine to get me away from writing. 

i probably deal with this on the daily, and that might surprise you all. but the truth is, i deal with the same resistance you do, and i too procrastinate. 

at first i felt stupid writing about procrastination, but i want to keep showing you the real day to day of my life, 

and it’s not always productive, and sometimes i don’t want to do it. 

and i won’t lie to you, i don’t have a mental reframe to “snap me out of it”. 

the reality is, some days, you are just going to be swimming upstream. 

but if you show up, and give it what you can, even if it’s subpar to your usual, 

you are STILL moving forward. 

do this over the course of months or even years, 

and you will start seeing the results. 

- vessal

P.S make sure to follow me on Instagram, i post stories nearly daily. Tap here!